Many issues may arise when children become aware that they have been adopted. Children may feel grief over the loss of their birth parents and family. They may feel a sense of loss without even knowing their birth parents. Children with limited or no contact with their birth parents may experience an even greater feeling of loss. These feelings of grief may be triggered at different times of their lives; including when they first learn of their adoption, during the death of a family member, and/or during their teenage years.
Feelings of Abandonment in Adopted Teens
Children may also feel abandoned and rejected by their birth parents. They may believe that they were not “good enough” and their mother “gave them away.” They may believe that something must be wrong with them if their birth parents did not want them. It may make adopted children feel as if they are unimportant, unworthy, and unlovable. Therefore, they may struggle with self-esteem more than their peers. The feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty may lead to difficulties in creating meaningful relationships with others as well. It is important to know that these feelings and the behaviors that come from them are unrelated to the amount of love and support received from the adoptive family.
Adoption Identity Struggles Can Lead to Behavioral Issues
In addition, adopted children may struggle with their identity. These identity struggles may be especially true for those who may have obvious racial differences from their adoptive parents. They may often wonder why they were adopted, what their birth family is like, and who they would be if they were never adopted. Adopted children may feel a huge gap in their history and background of who they are. There is a deep-seated need to understand and know who they are and where they came from. However, adopted children may feel they are being disloyal to their adoptive parents who loved and raised them if they ask questions about or search for their birthparents. Many adopted children deal with intense feelings of anger and resentment toward their biological parent/s and/or adoptive parent/s. These concerns and feelings should be met with understanding and often treatment. In some cases, adoptive parents should be supportive of their adopted child’s search for information about their birth family. This may provide healthier outcomes for the adopted children.
How Promise Village Can Help
Many of the children that enter Promise Village: Home for Children have adoption issues. The staff members have vast experience working with children who struggle with their identity, as well as the feelings of loss, abandonment, anger, and rejection that may come along with being adopted. Promise Village: Home for Children has and will continue to work on the behalf of families with adopted children; to help them overcome the struggles and issues of adoption.
Contact us today at 1-877-A-PROMISE to learn more.
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- Behavioral Warning Signs
- Compulsive Personality Disorder
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
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- Teen Alcohol Abuse
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